i'm a runner; i run. that's what i do.

yep, you heard right, i'm a runner now, meaning i've run twice in the past five days. not bad; i'm shooting for every other day, but frisbee got in the way once. yeeha (i really am pumped). i'm running a 5k in march (the big engine that could, right?)

but in real news, God is proving faithful (not really news, i guess): friends are really beginning to warm to each other here, and it seems that we're beginning to learn what being one body means. honestly, what kills me about blogging and stuff is that i can only use 'me' pronouns. now, even that difficulty in me doesn't point to an honest desire to see myself decrease, at least not necessarily; it only really points out that i notice how self-absorbed i actually am. and there's no way outside of God's work in us for us to defeat this. it seems a thousand miles away, but it's our hope, as the Church, that God would reduce us and that he would become greater. then the Church can truly be and work in that one substance of  his Spirit that knits us together. but i think we'll be yearning for a lifetime.

i miss you guys, and it was so great to be passed around last night. reunion at a wedding, can you beat it?

(i submit that you cannot!)

and here's last week's journal (shout out francisco):

So I think I figured out what this place really is: a DTR with the future. Here’s the parallel, for me anyway:

 

            In my life I’ve got a pattern of sorts (I use ‘pattern’ fairly loosely) – get to know girl, become close to girl, maybe start to like girl (optional), potential of relationship actually becomes possibility and approaches that crucial ‘we need to talk’ type situation; and then, usually no matter how enticing the possibility of relationship had looked up to that point, I flee in the opposite direction as fast as possible with my fingers in my ears, absolutely terrified of the reality of all of the thoughts I’d entertained. So it seems I really love dancing with the idea of relationships, but as soon as the responsibility reveals itself to own up to what I’ve felt, I freak out and run away with a goofy grin on my face, at least so far.

            Well, I treat the future in a similar way. Most of us have probably grown up hearing and subscribing, at least in some way, to the classic saying “you can be anything you want to be.” Cool, I guess. But in the fantastical place of “potential,” of entertaining possibilities in my mind of how far or influential or important or visible or ideal my future could be, I can be everything I want to be, not just any one thing.

            So, at least, TFA is a place where God (through his match-making minion David Norman) sits me down on the couch with my future, who looks at me and says, “We need to talk.” And maybe here, by the grace of God, I won’t just squirm awkwardly or run away from what I see as the impending confinement of a degree program, a hungry church, a frontier mission, a tenure track, a book-filled office, or a pro-wrestling championship (who knows?). Maybe God will let me see all the glory and vanity of my “potential” turn into the humble beauty of real life, real service, real success...anything real.