that's it. i'm just gonna have to blog.

(i'm sorry this is long; and it's probably only important to me.)

things to look forward to:

-waiting a dinner table for IJM's top 15 staff thursday

-meeting ishmael beah at my boss's wife's bookstore saturday

-being reunited with all of those close friends who have come to be so far off. who knows when.

today was just too good; it kind of demands a journalizing of some sort. but i'll start with yesterday.

the possibility of going to the sudan in some capacity with make way partners is as much in my mind as ever (surprise mom and dad!), so having spent so much time here talking about 'vocation' and trying to understand all areas of life as Gospel-centered, the subject has come up. i was showing a friend of mine the video on the MWP website when God revealed a weakness in my faith. just after showing some of the desperation experienced in that country, the narrator (kimberly smith) asks, "is there hope for the sudan?" and i just squirmed in unbelief. because, between the rhetorical question and the answer, i saw my forgiveness, redemption, and sanctification hanging in the balance. somehow, i saw my sin (our sin) as tied up in the same horrible problem as all of the violence and oppression in the world. and i faltered. until the narrator answered 'yes,' all of my thoughts said 'no! we're hopeless down here! my sin is too great!' and there it was - i forgot about the resurrection. i forgot about victory! (from here i get theoretical, but it's pretty honest; i'll research it later) the broken condition of fallen humanity and the sin of the church are destined for termination, by the grace of God! and they are (maybe) not two goals, but one - that God's people would be redeemed into perfect harmony, and that his creation would be healed of its upheaval on a global level. if God, through Christ's life, death, and resurrection, can conquer sin, he can, with the same Gospel, through the Holy Spirit in the Church, renew society. whew.

in events today (the 4th), i woke up at 7 and translated colossians with a couple friends here. after that, we had matins at eight. the service today was kind of special, particular. you really can't underestimate the power that there can be in spending a little time in study or something before worshiping together (something we're studying, conforming our lives to the disciplines of Christ's as a part of grace; being freed to obedience, living in the 'new life' under the resurrection). after matins came class, which was on what i just mentioned in parentheses ('the spirit of the disciplines' by dallas willard) and a chapter from 'the cost of discipleship' by dietrich bonhoeffer (bonhoeffer's better). it was cool, and full. then i worked in the kitchen for a shift, which was pretty fun.

at 3 though, after the work day, we had a guest speaker who is the father in a missionary family from cairo, and he spoke to us for about an hour about life and God's work there.

and He's active. and i wanna be part of his work, i don't wanna miss out on the kind of sacrifice he patterned for us and demanded from his apostles. obedience looks like such a joy today - the joy. but i don't doubt my ability to leave it behind for something very familiar and entirely less interesting. i should get 'prone to wander' tattooed on my forehead. every inch of me is idolatrous. 

so anyway, if anyone ends up reading this, i'm praying to the end that we, WE, together, live in light of the resurrection, following Jesus at every turn.